What makes me so bullet proof?
What makes me act so removed?


i should be writing a core paper. its not due til next week but i have no idea what i'm doing with it so i really should work on it. instead i'm listening to alexz johnson on repeat and writing a one person play thats actually me. the character is named jane at the moment but its me. its pure me.
at the moment theres about 4 pages. not alot, but its all her so it really is a lot of dialogue. its funny cause whenever i write the character turns into me. i guess its because i know me better then i know anything else and you write what you know. maybe i'm just a lazy writer... i dunno. but i like where its going so far. better then the one i wrote for playwriting and dramatic structure. i never really liked that play, i just did it cause i had to for course credits... but this is of my own volition. last night i just got an idea and started running with it. and here i am.

i have this headache that won't go away. its been around for a few days now/ and no matter how much sleep i get or how many tears i cry or shower i get or anything it won't stop. its not horrible but its just a constant dull ache in my head. that type that just gets on ones nerves. its annoying.



My skin doesn't fit
My words seem so hollow
I feel like a fraud
And that's a bitter pill to swallow

Sometimes it hits me right between the eyes
Everyone can see through my disguise

Who am I fooling
I'm just a smiling face
In a make-believe world
Who am I fooling
I'm just a wannabe
So easy to replace
Pretending I'm a perfect girl

All alone in the mirror
All alone on the shelf
I'm trying to hold on
To a little piece of myself

Doesn't anybody realize
Even I don't buy my own disguise