"She loves the smell of old books."

Its been awhile, I know. At first I could have blamed it on the almost three weeks I was without a computer because of repair issues. But then it got to a point where I was either lazy or busy... or both. But jsut because I haven't written here doesn't mean I haven't been writing. Because I have, just of my own volition. I've figured that if I plan on being a student of writing in any way I should really stick with it and try to finish some projects, because normally I get too distracted to finish. And I still haven't finished anything- but I've certainly started some and I have even more ideas coming. Which is great.I just had a test, it lasted one minute. Twenty-five multiple choice questions. Amazing. The last "core" class I will ever need to take. I made it up to "Core 3: Cross-Cultural Perspectives" It's what we call a party, or "lets watch a movie today" since that is all we did the entire time. But it wasn't too bad. I did read an incredible book about motherhood in Africa in the 1930s, as things were changing from tribal societies to those influenced by Western Culture. "The Joys of Motherhood" Very good, interesting style too.
This is my last week of classes. Actually its finals week. My last week at FDU. It still hasn't set in that I won't be here next semester. I know when I think about it that I won't be here, but it hasn't set in that I will not be having classes in NAB or the Mansion or be performing on the Dreyfuss stage next year. I won't be seeing these people who have been a huge part of my life this past year or two. Its certainly scary. I don't know when its goning to hit me, but I have a feeling that when it does it will not be pretty. There will probably be tears. Heavy ones, as that is the only way I react to things as of late.I really have become quite the crier. Which is funny, at least to me, because in the past I would not cry. I spent a whole 8 months of my junior year not crying only to have it all come out one night while reading "The Truth About Forever" by Sarah Dessen. Since then I've let the tears come as they may, but lately it has just been over the top. Far more than I would expect, and we're talking about me! I should be able to predict in some way the amount of crying I'll do, shouldn't I?
I am so strange. But I guess thats just how I am. I started to pack my things away today. I only have enough clothing out to last me the week. A skirt a day, plus an extra skirt for today because Chorus needs to sing for a dedication or naming ceremony, or something like that, at the mansion later. It should be pretty, singing in French "Rose Lis Printemps" (or however it is spelled). That's a last minute change considering last week we were supposed to be singing "Lift Every Voice" and the "FDU Alma Mater". But that it perfectly acceptable because our alma mater is horrible. If it could have been re-writtten I think everyone would have preferred it, but whatever. It doesn't even matter now.
I went back to my high school. Holy Cross. My home of four years. Felicia went too. She's beenb back plenty of times. This was only my fourth. But then again. I don't have brothers on the backetball and wrestling teams like she does. But we went to see Big River. It was a well done production for the most part. Its sad because as I've become more educated about theater some of its been ruined for me. As in the past I would have gone, watched the show and come out saying "Wow, that was great!" like a large portion of the audience, all I could do was focus on the bad acting filled with movement around the stage that had nothing to do with the characters objective, tons of indication, and at some points an actor going dead while the other is performing. In the past I might have noticed the movement part, but thats it. Now all of this jumps out at me. But so be it. That is what comes with education.
Also went to UArts and saw Back2Back2Back, a collection of three one act plays. It was cute. Fun. I personally liked the middle section, titled Back2Back (the entire collection getting its name from this), but according to Jessica that one was the least popular. It had the most complicated music, and a story about neurotic New Yorkers struggling to make a connection with each other as they go in and out of their appointments with their shrink (who the two of them see back to back- get it?!) But I really enjoyed it. Also earlier in the day there was Alex's communion party and a bar-b-q ar Gene's house. Technically speaking it was a cast part for the UArts cast of You Can't Take It With You, but his wife suggested he invite the London people, thus I was there. I got to meet a lot of people who I'll be with next semester, including the boy Jessica and I will be living with, John. He is adorable. I don't even know what else to say other than that. But it was fun. A little awkward for me, not knowing anyone but Jessica, Carl (who barely said hi- whated) and Cherie. But still it was fun.
And then the next day it was Jillian's baby shower. That was cute. With lots of light blue. She's having a boy, Hunter. He is due next month. And God knows he will be adorable. And he already has enough clothing to cover his body til he's 2 nad not have to repeat an outfit- of course that sonly if he never grew. Which he will do half of the adorable onesies people bought for him won't get worn. but oh well. It will still be cute to look at. I can't wait for there ot be a new baby around. I know I won't see him very much. But I love babies. And if I could I would offer up my babysitting services. I'll be a good mom when my time comes. Which with the way things are going will not be for a very, very long time. It's almost a shame, but so be it.
I tried to apologize to someone recently for the way I treated him. I was throughtless and heartless at the time. But he has since dissappeared. And by that I mean, gotten rid of his myspace and stopped signing in online. I have his cell phone number but I don't want to be weird about it. So I guess I will just wait until I get to talk to him in person or he comes back on line. I just really want to say sorry for running away. I didn't mean to. Well, actually thats a lie. I did mean to. But I was scared. He was coming on strong and I didn't know how else to react. It was one of my first times in that sort of situation and I didn't know what else to do. And now, ages later, I feel even more terrible about it than I did at the time. It wasn't anything big. But its been on my mind. And I've been thinking in "What If's". What if I had just said yes? What if I hadn't been afraid of someone who was actually interested in me? Things could have been so different. But I can't change the past. So, I have to take whats happened and what part I played in the decision making.
I'm just odd. Weird. Strange. Abnormal. You know the deal. Anyways, now that I've ranted on for nearly twenty years, I believe it is time for me to study Italian. I have a final tomorrow and it is going to be near impossible. But I will manage...somehow. I'm not quite sure how that is, but I will. And hopefully I will keep the "A-" (or something like that) I have in the class right now. It would be incredibly pleasant. Especially since that is what I am struggling the most with grade-wise I believe, other than Weather and Climate, which doesn't count since no one is doing well in that entire class except Nicole. Oh well.
I am currently watching a bad Lindsay Lohan movie Just My Luck. It is so cheesy and corny and hokey. But Its cute at the same time. Plus she has great clothes throughout it. Okay. Off to the nation of Italy. Studying and all of that sort of fun.
Oh and by the way, I was cast as Jack's Mother in Into the Woods. It's not exactly what I wanted, but it is better than I expected. And James was cast as Jack. Which is cool, that means I get to hang out with him some this summer. He is years younger than me but when we've talked we get along so it'll be fun. Plus we can make fun of Chelsea behind her back.