When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions
It's my worried mind that you quiet
Place your hands on my face
Close my eyes and say
Love is a poor man's food
Don't prophesize
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever
And I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever

"Then he shifted, moving closer to me, and I felt his arm press against mine, his skin warm. And then, finally, he kissed me- really kissed me- and I couldn't hear anything: not the water, the music, or even my own heart, which had to be pounding. Instead, it was just silence, the very best kind, stretching out forever, or only a moment, and then it was over."

-Just Listen

i was fired from my job today.

i was then taken out drinking to comfort me by my sister and cousin.
i just felt awkward.

and then i think i went to far or asked to much of someone that i don't want to scare away.


all in all, a fucking great saturday night.

I like this boy.

It takes a lot for me to allow myself to admit that. But its true.
I really do like him.

And I know some people think that might mean nothing but coming from me it means a lot.
I don't like to show emotional weakness or whatever by letting my guard down and admitting to having feelings for people. But I can't help it this time.
I really do like him.

I may not be shouting it down broad street or putting it on facebook or writing crappy songs about it but its the truth. I like him.

Just talking like this makes me feel so much younger than I actually am. 23 years old and I can barely admit to 'liking' someone. But thats just my own emotional immaturity. Perhaps I'll grow up soon. But for now... I like him.


And I think he likes me too.

6 hours.

I have about 6 hours until I am due into work. I only left there about 3 hours ago. That is cruel. But tomorrow is only a day shift not a double and its followed by seeing Red Ryder with Colleen. And heavy alcohol usage after that. What fun.


I am unbelievably sore. Running around at work today did not help. But its partly my own doing so I have to take it.


This past week or two has been quite interesting. This past month really in terms of whats been going on in my life. But really the past two weeks.


People really can surprise you.
And it can be amazing.

And just what you thought. And nothing like you planned.
And I really enjoy this.

Oh, Holly.

Oh, Holly
So thin, so pretty, so confused.
Oh, Holly
The perfect girl for being used.
You act like you know everything
For everyone you meet
But you're lost and you're scared
Little girl, you're incomplete.

Oh, Holly
With your over-sized glasses and your dark hair
Oh, Holly
You're so busy faking that you can't care
You wish that you were perfect
But what could be the cost
You run away from who you are
Little girl, lost.

And you think that no one sees
The sadness in your eyes.
You fill your past with fictions.
You're drowning in your lies.
Feeling mean reds everyday,
Play 'Moon River' every night.
When ya gonna give up, Holly?
You could be all right.

Oh, Holly
With your many men and your fake friends.
Oh, Holly
All that you can do is play pretend.
Wear a little black dress
And light your cigarette.
Go through the motions everyday.
Do you feel better yet?

And you think that no one sees
The sadness in your eyes.
You fill your past with fictions.
You're drowning in your lies.
Feeling mean reds everyday,
Play 'Moon River' every night.
When will all your games stop, Holly?
You could be all right.
You might be all right.
You will be all right.

-Caitlin Reed, 2010 (c)

Stay

(at least thats it's current title. very likely to change.)

A trail of smoke 'tween your fingertips.
I follow it back to your lips
And I
Wanna take your breath away
And I
Wanna be with you so stay
With me

Cause we could be together
Without the fear or the pressure
And we could hide here forever
So Stay.
Stay.

Brush the hair away from my face
I feel look like a disgrace
But you
Act as if you cannot see
And you
Make me feel like its okay
To be me.

And we could be together
Without the fear or the pressure
And we could hide here forever
So Stay.
Stay.

Don't you think that we
Could try to be happy
Without having to worry 'bout the bullshit
Just like everyone else does
We would understand
If you'd just take my hand

Cause I've always know
That we could be together
Without the fear or the pressure
And we could hide here forever
So Stay.
Just stay.

-Caitlin Reed, 2010 (c)

new year, new something.

Welcome to 2010.
It's crazy. I still remember when it was the mid-90s and that does not feel that long ago.

NYE party at 1414 was insanity. Fun, but crazy.
Work tonight was good. I only worked for about 5 hours and walked away with
$150. That NEVER happens.

And now, to start the year off right. Lyrics to a new song I just wrong about 10 minutes ago!

First (the smell of her hair?)


Wrapped in blankets, huddling
Under what I couldn’t call love
An eventful night connecting
below and above

But what this is has been here for a while before
And if we keep on going now can we return to what we were once more
I’m afraid that we can’t

Because she was here first
She’ll always be ahead of me
She was here first
And soon there’ll be nothing left of me
I’ll give you all I can but still it won’t compare
Cause she was here first
And you still long for
The smell of her hair

We act like this is normal.
Nothing here is is strange.
We talk like nothings different
But I can feel the change

What mistake did we just make
How can I live through this
A whole world can shift
Due to one tiny (not so tiny) kiss.

Whatever we once were we are not anymore
And now we can’t turn back to being what we were before once more

But still she was here first
She’ll always be ahead of me
She was here first
And soon there’ll be nothing left of me
I’ll give you all I am but nothing can compare
Cause she was your first love
And you still long for her
You still pray for her
I know you're waiting for her
And the smell of her hair.
The smell of her hair.
The smell of her
Hair...