"and I'll still be alone..."

A moment of connection. OUr very own version of Six Degrees of Separation. Coincidence all around. Our very own 'bench scene', more introductory, exclamatory "Wow!". Not so romantic.
But still. A 'something' occurred. And then it fizzled away into nothingness.
Its like we discussed before... Those kinds of chance meetings do not happen to most people- only to a few. And it does not seem like my life is destined to be one of those, no hints of a 'great romance' coming my way.
I do understand that though. I know what my life could be like. Me, a spinster, old before my time, in a decrepit apartment filled with many cats. Frightening, depressing, all too possible. I understand that is a possibility for my future, along with everyone else's- even if it seems more likely a path for me over others. But although I accept and attempt to come to terms with that possibility I cannot assume that it is the definite path my life will follow. And connections like todays, even if only for a fleeting moment, give me hope.
The hope they give me is what keeps me from giving up on myself. To be able to believe that a connection, even if slight, could occur for only a minute allows me to trust that I could find a connection with another person that could extend for five more minutes, maybe even ten... until we really are 'together.'
Maybe I'm just a big idealist. I do believe that everyone has a person out there that they are meant to be with. Some people are just unable to find their other half. They may try but end up leaving a trail of missed connections and opportunities in their wake. Or they may be shy. Unable to escape themselves, break down their walls and open their hearts to another. And then there are those who cannot find security. Instead of finding one they jump from one to another. Finding as many as possible. But never just one who can keep them, understand them, see past the pretense and the past to the real them.
I don't know where I fit into this. I would say I am shy- because I am, painfully so in some situations. Also I leave many connections behind, not intentionally, its just something that happens. And connections are not something you can force. They just happen. And when they fade away, so be it. That may just be the way things are meant to be. And one day, hopefully not too far away, there will be a connection, completely organic and unforced that will grow and continue to do so. Rather than fade away, it will flourish. And I will have found him. That one person.
But until then there is only one thing I can do. Hope. I will not lose my hope that everything will work out. I will keep believing that it is possible for me to find someone, maybe even love. Because even if I'm not beautiful I do deserve love. Everyone does. But I am getting to a painfully disheartened state. But I will not let it get the best of me. I will keep my hope and faith and trust. And it will happen to me someday...