I haven't posted in over a week.
I've been sort of busy.
What with being away in the Dominican (obviously I did not get to stay and form my own band of mini-bandits or infuse some children with some west side story styled choreography. damn.) And then going to New York for one day and deciding to do so at the absolute last minute. And moving back to Philadelphia. And starting classes. And actually having my meeting with Amy. And planning out my entire life for the next two years. Its absolutely crazy.
I can't believe I'm actually following through with my plan of sorts. I mean I've done step one already. Met with Amy. And while there we made my 'graduation plan' meaning we went over all the classes I need to take to get my degree and how long it will take me to earn it. AS a rule of the university I must be here for 5 semesters, 2 and a half years. Placing me as graduating in December 2009. Only one semester later than I was originally supposed to. And now, thanks to our clever planning, I should be able to do this. Amy and I sat for an hour Tuesday afternoon trying to sort everything out and just talking about why I want to fast track it. She understands me and my feelings about being older than the other people in my classes and also about my guilt toward making my parents pay so much because even after my scholarships its expensive, I'm not sure if it's more than FDU but its still expensive and I don't want them to work themselves to death or anything just to pay for my schooling, but I can't really make the money I need while being in school and I certainly can't get the loans for it because I already have my own debts and absolutely no credit (I should fix that). So hopefully this will all work out. But if it doesn't I will definitely finish by May 2010. Only one year late. Meaning I'd have been here for 3 years, which is okay.
My own personal plan is to open a bank account that I won't really touch and to take half of the money I make over the next few years and put it into that account. Then when it comes time for grad school (if I get in) I will have some money put away so I can pay part of it on my own. And then I will possibly be able to get another loan and I'll be able to afford it.
Also we discussed my Senior Project, or at least the possibility of it. If I can pull it off I want to have a staged reading/ workshop/ something! of a one act musical I am currently working on. I can't promise that it would be that great as a whole but the pieces I have started I already like. Two songs and the scenes they are part of especially, they make me quiet happy. And I never like my own work.
But anyways aside from that stuff I've been doing a bunch of things. Starting classes- taking 18 credits now (which is funny cause about a week ago I was in 13.5). But I'm no longer in voice lessons because they didn't fit in with my schedule or with money (they cost extra! whats that about since we're already paying for the credits?) I am however in Musical Theatre History as taught by a man who knows Allen Cohen! (He told me to tell the techer he said hi, hahaha) And also I'm in Stage Management with Anna which might be a little bit insane just based on some of the people in the class. Wonderful.
Oh and there was a super-last minute New York trip for Jessica and I. While we were way we randomly got internet and I got a facebook thing as a part of a group that there was an extra Jamboree being added on Saturday night at midnight. Jess wanted to go so I sent Joe a message seeing if he thought it would be sold out or what since we wouldn't even be back in America until late Friday night. But he hadn't answered me by the time we got home so I called the Laurie Beechman just to see and they said it was sold out, completely and that there was no hope for me. Fun times. But Saturday morning I check my facebook and theres an answer from Joe saying that he would get us in if we wanted to go and to message him and let him know. And so I txtd saying that he would forever be my hero if he could get us into the 9:30 show (we couldn't go to the midnight one due to lack of trains home). Not even 4 minutes later my phone rings and it was Joe saying that he would get us in. Come hell or highwater (well not really thats dramatic but I like that phrase) we would be in that theater. I believe he actually said that we would be sitting on stage if we had to, but dammit we would be in that theater somehow. Hot, right? So after organizing and packing our stuff to go back to Philly we got ready and we left and took the train to New York and got some coffee (Dunkin Donuts, of course). Then it was off to the Beechman to see some Jamboree. We were actually on the list and everything and we got real seats at a table ( I was so paranoid I'd get there and firstly no one from the group of them would remember me from earlier in the month and then we wouldn't have anywhere to sit and just a whole bunch of things going wrong. Like the way my life normally does) But we were at the show and we got to see people and talk to them and people did remember who I was, I guess I'm not as invisible as I fear and it was just a great night. By the time we got home it was late, around 2 something in the morning because of the train and issues so we passed out and then the next day it was back to Philadelphia.
Nicole came to visit on Sunday! After I moved everything back in and put everything away she showed up! It was so great to hang out with her again. Even though its only been a little while since we saw each other on January 5th its still a long time, considering that we lived together for one year and then saw each other atleast 5 days a week another, and then we went many many many months without seeing each other. But now its all good. But we hung out and I showed her around a tiny tiny tiny bit - not much to look at when its so cold and ugly out. But then we had people over to the apartment, not quite a party but certainly a gathering with alcohol and movies and whatnots. But it was fun.
And then it was Monday and after Nicole left to go home in the afternoon I headed to the shop so I could start working again. Back to the grind.
On Tuesday classes started and and then it was pint night and so it went today too with new classes and then we had a small project runway viewing party (because Kaitlin couldn't) and now I'm here.
And now I'm going to read a trashy romance novel until I fall asleep since I have to get up at 7:30 for my 8:30 class (so not cool).
But first a little video I made at the jamboree cause it was a good time and I completley love the song.
""
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Sunday, January 13, 2008
"I wanna take you through a wasteland I like to call my home "
If you recognize the above lyric and do not do so by way of Google you will gain about 30 cool points in my book. And you'll get an extra one if you figure out its relevance to me at this very moment.
I've finished packing. Mostly. All my clothing and whatnots are done with. Now its a matter of figuring out carry-on items. Obviously those will include: i-pod, classic composition book (both are always on my being somewhere), books (but which ones to bring? I'm thinking I'll go with 'Junior' by Macaulay Culkin because a) it looks crazy f-ed up, and b) i have yet to read it. And them I'm at a loss for literature. This break has been particularly hard on my wallet, thus I am lacking in reading material for lack of purchasing ability. I might take some books from Nicholas, perhaps some Neil Gaiman? Or maybe I'll steal Fake.Liar.Cheat. / The Fuck-Up / Perks of Being A Wallflower. My copies of these books are in Philadelphia rather than on the other side of the wall like his are... I guess I'll ask. Or maybe I'll go shopping in the morning at all the duty-free stores while we wait at the Newark Airport.)
Oh yes, we are flying out of Newark. Driving into the bad weather, snow and all. It will be a party. Of momentous size too. Meaning everyone else will probably end up falling asleep in the car while my father drives and I'll put on the i-pod and not pass out but happily think of the coming 4 days in the sun and devote a tiny thought to the regrettable feelings that will sneak up on me when Friday comes and its time to return to the real world. I've been told that even though I don't officially have a seat on the plane to come home I am not allowed to give up and stay in the Dominican Republic. I found this very upsetting.
I personally don't understand why I'm not allowed to stay in a random foreign country illegally. I could make my money, singing on street corners. Perhaps hustling money from tourists.
[cut from Caitlin sitting on bedroom floor with laptop to Caitlin walking down the mean streets of the Domincan Republic. Her skin is very dark and she is looking fairly South American in her own right for someone who is Irish and Italian. Behind her there is a band of small children, they are all very tough looking. The children are breaking into random dance moves, also yelling words like "BAM!", "ZAP!", and "POW!" They are a force to be reckoned with, a group to be feared, and Caitlin is their leader, their Queen.]
I would fantasize about leading a small gang of children and molding them into those most likely to appear as the Puerto Ricans in West Side Story... But I really would be a mighty fierce leader - you know I would.
I guess I should stop doing this and start packing my carry-on. I'm just so lazy though...
Shame.
I've finished packing. Mostly. All my clothing and whatnots are done with. Now its a matter of figuring out carry-on items. Obviously those will include: i-pod, classic composition book (both are always on my being somewhere), books (but which ones to bring? I'm thinking I'll go with 'Junior' by Macaulay Culkin because a) it looks crazy f-ed up, and b) i have yet to read it. And them I'm at a loss for literature. This break has been particularly hard on my wallet, thus I am lacking in reading material for lack of purchasing ability. I might take some books from Nicholas, perhaps some Neil Gaiman? Or maybe I'll steal Fake.Liar.Cheat. / The Fuck-Up / Perks of Being A Wallflower. My copies of these books are in Philadelphia rather than on the other side of the wall like his are... I guess I'll ask. Or maybe I'll go shopping in the morning at all the duty-free stores while we wait at the Newark Airport.)
Oh yes, we are flying out of Newark. Driving into the bad weather, snow and all. It will be a party. Of momentous size too. Meaning everyone else will probably end up falling asleep in the car while my father drives and I'll put on the i-pod and not pass out but happily think of the coming 4 days in the sun and devote a tiny thought to the regrettable feelings that will sneak up on me when Friday comes and its time to return to the real world. I've been told that even though I don't officially have a seat on the plane to come home I am not allowed to give up and stay in the Dominican Republic. I found this very upsetting.
I personally don't understand why I'm not allowed to stay in a random foreign country illegally. I could make my money, singing on street corners. Perhaps hustling money from tourists.
[cut from Caitlin sitting on bedroom floor with laptop to Caitlin walking down the mean streets of the Domincan Republic. Her skin is very dark and she is looking fairly South American in her own right for someone who is Irish and Italian. Behind her there is a band of small children, they are all very tough looking. The children are breaking into random dance moves, also yelling words like "BAM!", "ZAP!", and "POW!" They are a force to be reckoned with, a group to be feared, and Caitlin is their leader, their Queen.]
I would fantasize about leading a small gang of children and molding them into those most likely to appear as the Puerto Ricans in West Side Story... But I really would be a mighty fierce leader - you know I would.
I guess I should stop doing this and start packing my carry-on. I'm just so lazy though...
Shame.
Fruit Strip Gum.
Fruit Strip Gum.
I'm chewing a piece right now and its like I'm reliving (or re-chewing) my childhood.
This was by far my favorite candy. "Yipes, Stripes! Its Fruit Stripe Gum!"
In my young mind it was perfection in stick form. In chewing it now I am getting painfully nostalgic for days long past. Days when I was at Saint Paul. Days when life was easier and friends were plentiful and there was not nearly the drama there is now. I have a stick of the peach flavor in my mouth, by far the one I liked the least but still I love it. I'm so tempted to be like a third grader and put on the tattoos. The one on this particular wrapper is the zebra surf boarding.
Life was so much easier when this gum was in style...
Saturday, January 12, 2008
And then I get left behind...
Apparently our plane for coming home from the Dominican Republic is over booked.
And the way its overbooked is in a way making me not have a seat. The other four members of my family have seats on the plane. Me, not so much. So I am going to be left behind in paradise. Not really a bad thing, but still- it doesn't surprise me that I would be the one stuck. Gi-zayyyyyy.
And also would anyone like a song that has the lines
"I don’t like you
Not like that at least.
You were never the one for me.
I don’t like you.
I’m sorry but its done.
This is the way things have to be."
Its somewhere in a song I started a little while ago (while watching Harry Potter 1 [they all look like babies!])
And the way its overbooked is in a way making me not have a seat. The other four members of my family have seats on the plane. Me, not so much. So I am going to be left behind in paradise. Not really a bad thing, but still- it doesn't surprise me that I would be the one stuck. Gi-zayyyyyy.
And also would anyone like a song that has the lines
"I don’t like you
Not like that at least.
You were never the one for me.
I don’t like you.
I’m sorry but its done.
This is the way things have to be."
Its somewhere in a song I started a little while ago (while watching Harry Potter 1 [they all look like babies!])
Friday, January 11, 2008
"Woke up to the sound of pouring rain.."
It is horrendous outside. Pouring rain, thunder and lightning. Always fun.
I don't know why I'm writing on here. I think it was more that I just wanted to quote that song as a title of a post and it seemed apropos here.
Additionally, after my little rant last night I kept writing.
3 lyrics done, completely so. And a few others started.
If only I could figure out the accompaniment and not make it suck.
And also if I could finally finish the Post Secret Project that would be nice...
Or something like that.
Some of you might not know but somewhere in last February or March I started a project based on the ideas of Post Secret (click My Addictions link). I know its not really a new innovative theater concept or anything but I wrote a collection of monologues about people's struggles with their secrets, both the inner turmoil and the way they were outwardly effected. It was about the nature of secrets and what they can do to a person, whether it be a positive or a negative. And since I started it I've continued to work on them little by little. The first week I was working I wrote 6 monologues, all of which I still like (which is rare- I normally hate anything I write within hours of finishing). But then I got busy with school and with shows and with life. The project fell to the wayside. But recently I picked it up again. On the train to New York last weekend I had my laptop with me and so I started to write again. I wasn't quite sure where I was going with it but I knew I wanted to carry on with the project and so I did. And now I have an even larger collection of monologues. And I don't know where to stop, or how to end. I want everyone's secrets to tie together somehow and to have the different actors coming together and for there to be a crossover of sort. I can see it in my head and hear it, I just can't execute it or talk about it apparently. So, I'm trying to figure out that one now too.
I just don't know when to stop with that one.
How many pieces would make it complete?
I'm getting overly anxious.
I don't know what about- but I am.
And also, anybody wanna loan my $20?
I wanna go to the rock and roll jamboree on the 19th since I don't start classes til the 22nd.
I don't know why I'm writing on here. I think it was more that I just wanted to quote that song as a title of a post and it seemed apropos here.
Additionally, after my little rant last night I kept writing.
3 lyrics done, completely so. And a few others started.
If only I could figure out the accompaniment and not make it suck.
And also if I could finally finish the Post Secret Project that would be nice...
Or something like that.
Some of you might not know but somewhere in last February or March I started a project based on the ideas of Post Secret (click My Addictions link). I know its not really a new innovative theater concept or anything but I wrote a collection of monologues about people's struggles with their secrets, both the inner turmoil and the way they were outwardly effected. It was about the nature of secrets and what they can do to a person, whether it be a positive or a negative. And since I started it I've continued to work on them little by little. The first week I was working I wrote 6 monologues, all of which I still like (which is rare- I normally hate anything I write within hours of finishing). But then I got busy with school and with shows and with life. The project fell to the wayside. But recently I picked it up again. On the train to New York last weekend I had my laptop with me and so I started to write again. I wasn't quite sure where I was going with it but I knew I wanted to carry on with the project and so I did. And now I have an even larger collection of monologues. And I don't know where to stop, or how to end. I want everyone's secrets to tie together somehow and to have the different actors coming together and for there to be a crossover of sort. I can see it in my head and hear it, I just can't execute it or talk about it apparently. So, I'm trying to figure out that one now too.
I just don't know when to stop with that one.
How many pieces would make it complete?
I'm getting overly anxious.
I don't know what about- but I am.
And also, anybody wanna loan my $20?
I wanna go to the rock and roll jamboree on the 19th since I don't start classes til the 22nd.
I'm not a fan of her plays but...
Don't live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable. ~Wendy Wasserstein
Wise words. Keep them in mind.
I'm going crazy here. I'm writing a lot. As much as I can. I figure I'll just keep doing it and keep what I like, get rid of what I don't, or work it til I do like it. I need this constance because without it I will slack and end up ignoring my goals and then when the times I'll be screwed. Completely. So if you talk to me and ask me what I'm working on and I have no idea or I have no clue about anything or I just say I've given up, please slap me up the head. I can't afford to let go of goals, even if I still have 5 semesters left of working I cannot slack. At all. I counted a little while ago. I don't think it could be possible for me to finish school by Fall 2009. I'm going to have stick around for Spring 2010, even though I don't think I'll be able to afford it. Especially since my scholarship is only for 2 years. I don't know... I'm going to meet with Amy, I hope, and figure out the next few years of my life and my classes. And hopefully I'll be able to get a job and start saving. Cause I need to. And then maybe I won't be in debt for the rest of my life.... Hah. Thats funny. Because I know I will be.
Wise words. Keep them in mind.
I'm going crazy here. I'm writing a lot. As much as I can. I figure I'll just keep doing it and keep what I like, get rid of what I don't, or work it til I do like it. I need this constance because without it I will slack and end up ignoring my goals and then when the times I'll be screwed. Completely. So if you talk to me and ask me what I'm working on and I have no idea or I have no clue about anything or I just say I've given up, please slap me up the head. I can't afford to let go of goals, even if I still have 5 semesters left of working I cannot slack. At all. I counted a little while ago. I don't think it could be possible for me to finish school by Fall 2009. I'm going to have stick around for Spring 2010, even though I don't think I'll be able to afford it. Especially since my scholarship is only for 2 years. I don't know... I'm going to meet with Amy, I hope, and figure out the next few years of my life and my classes. And hopefully I'll be able to get a job and start saving. Cause I need to. And then maybe I won't be in debt for the rest of my life.... Hah. Thats funny. Because I know I will be.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
My Current Life Plan
so last night (really this morning) I was talking to Joe Marra (who i miss like woah) and I told him I was plotting out my life. He asked what it was and so...
Well, I'll go to the Dominican Republic on Monday and stay through Friday, start classes on Tuesday and promptly have a meeting with my dept. head so we can try and get me out of UArts as fast as possible - 4 more semesters hopefully so I'll only be 1 semester behind people my age. I'll then take the next semester off and work my ass off doing whatever I can, saving all my money, get into NYU's TISCH Grad School for Musical Theatre Writing. Then I'll go there for a bit of time, graduate with an MFA. While there I'll dazzle the theater world with my amazing word play and clever lyric writing. Somehow I won't have to work (I haven't worked that part out) and I'll subside on a diet of Dunkin Donuts coffee and bagels and writing my little heart out. And then I will take the world by storm (except it won't just be me because I will find some amazing composer to collaborate with [Amy Feinberg has taught me well] and we will pair their incredible music [preferably of an alternative style] and my wondrous lyrics and we'll be winners all around).
Now lets see if I can even get beyond the meeting with Amy sometime after classes start.
Well, I'll go to the Dominican Republic on Monday and stay through Friday, start classes on Tuesday and promptly have a meeting with my dept. head so we can try and get me out of UArts as fast as possible - 4 more semesters hopefully so I'll only be 1 semester behind people my age. I'll then take the next semester off and work my ass off doing whatever I can, saving all my money, get into NYU's TISCH Grad School for Musical Theatre Writing. Then I'll go there for a bit of time, graduate with an MFA. While there I'll dazzle the theater world with my amazing word play and clever lyric writing. Somehow I won't have to work (I haven't worked that part out) and I'll subside on a diet of Dunkin Donuts coffee and bagels and writing my little heart out. And then I will take the world by storm (except it won't just be me because I will find some amazing composer to collaborate with [Amy Feinberg has taught me well] and we will pair their incredible music [preferably of an alternative style] and my wondrous lyrics and we'll be winners all around).
Now lets see if I can even get beyond the meeting with Amy sometime after classes start.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
a random bit of fascination
the above is a mustache cup.
it was an invention of the 1800's England.
It's a cup with a special bar across the inside to keep a man's mustache out of his drink.
I don't know why but I think this might be the most amazing thing ever...
always darkest before the dawn?
maybe I've found the way I work best.
Melt down, start thinking I should give up and go to school for political science or even worse - communcations, that i have absolutely no talent and that i should find a corner to go die in.
and then start writing.
In the past few hours i wrote a song.
It's not much and its just the beginnings of one and it has a long way to go.
But I like it so far.
And the one person I've let listen to it (god bless these mac's and their recording abilities) gave me really good feedback on it.
so now to just see if I can keep this up...
Melt down, start thinking I should give up and go to school for political science or even worse - communcations, that i have absolutely no talent and that i should find a corner to go die in.
and then start writing.
In the past few hours i wrote a song.
It's not much and its just the beginnings of one and it has a long way to go.
But I like it so far.
And the one person I've let listen to it (god bless these mac's and their recording abilities) gave me really good feedback on it.
so now to just see if I can keep this up...
Monday, January 07, 2008
I've been spontaneously crying the past day.
What the fuck? Like seriously.
I'm not sure why but all day its just been random tears.
You'd swear I was pregnant or crazy or PMSing.
And I'm not any of them.
So instead of just crying I've decided I'm going to lose myself in a project and really learn how to play my guitar. I've had it for a few years and beyond a few Michelle Branch songs from her first CD, I can't play anything. And so- here I go...
I figure if I can play guitar, I can atleast attempt to write music to go along with the crappy lyrics I've written. Therefore making a fully crappy song as opposed to only half of one.
What the fuck? Like seriously.
I'm not sure why but all day its just been random tears.
You'd swear I was pregnant or crazy or PMSing.
And I'm not any of them.
So instead of just crying I've decided I'm going to lose myself in a project and really learn how to play my guitar. I've had it for a few years and beyond a few Michelle Branch songs from her first CD, I can't play anything. And so- here I go...
I figure if I can play guitar, I can atleast attempt to write music to go along with the crappy lyrics I've written. Therefore making a fully crappy song as opposed to only half of one.
so i think i might have come to a slight understanding with why i keep freaking out over my writing and future career or lack-there-of. everyone i met who is doing what i want to do in life already was working on projects that have been finished, or just had some sort of skill and talent and they could show something for it by the time they were my age. Me... not so much. Maybe I just move at a slower pace than they do. It wouldn't be the first time I was the slow one- on so many levels. I just feel like I've fallen behind. Like there's this big race to get to success and finish a piece and have it be good and have people like it and maybe even get it produced and I'm just floundering at the back somewhere trying to find a pencil sharpener so I can maybe try to start writing a first draft.
So that's kind of a weird way to put it, but thats the way things feel right now. And I don't know how to catch up other than try to keep writing and maybe straighten things out but right now I feel like everything I write is so cliche and just bad. It's a big ball of suck, to put it nicely. And I don't know how to improve or get past this hump. And just ugh. I'm frustrating myself because of my lack of ability coupled with my need to get around it.
I seriously want to cry and scream and just figure everything out at the same time.
And then finish a play I can be proud of, instead of ashamed or embarassed like usually.
So that's kind of a weird way to put it, but thats the way things feel right now. And I don't know how to catch up other than try to keep writing and maybe straighten things out but right now I feel like everything I write is so cliche and just bad. It's a big ball of suck, to put it nicely. And I don't know how to improve or get past this hump. And just ugh. I'm frustrating myself because of my lack of ability coupled with my need to get around it.
I seriously want to cry and scream and just figure everything out at the same time.
And then finish a play I can be proud of, instead of ashamed or embarassed like usually.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
trying to write
I'm trying to keep writing.
Not the ramblings that are here but real writings.
My plays and bad lyrics.
I feel like I only have short things to tell. Not a full story.
I can tell one persons side of something, like a story.
But then I get stuck.
I can't flesh it out further.
How am I supposed to be a writer when I can't write?
Or, I can write- but not enough to satisfy anyone?
Do I need more life experience?
Can I only find stories once I find my own place in the world?
When will that happen?
How am I going to improve in enough time to have any sort of chance?
I know I'm being overly dramatic but I feel like if I don't get better at this then my dreams won't come to fruition at all.
Dimple just called me.
We're going to the diner.
Maybe I'll come back later...
Not the ramblings that are here but real writings.
My plays and bad lyrics.
I feel like I only have short things to tell. Not a full story.
I can tell one persons side of something, like a story.
But then I get stuck.
I can't flesh it out further.
How am I supposed to be a writer when I can't write?
Or, I can write- but not enough to satisfy anyone?
Do I need more life experience?
Can I only find stories once I find my own place in the world?
When will that happen?
How am I going to improve in enough time to have any sort of chance?
I know I'm being overly dramatic but I feel like if I don't get better at this then my dreams won't come to fruition at all.
Dimple just called me.
We're going to the diner.
Maybe I'll come back later...
Better in 2008?
Well, here I am. Currently while i write this it is 1:48 am, Sunday morning. Not too long ago I got back from the bar. Or actually from leaving Nicole on the corner of 42nd (or was it 43rd?) and 8th so she could go on her merry way to MSG and Penn Station and I could make my way back to matt’s.
This was quite the weekend. It was a fun time, really.
So what happened was Joe Iconis (ya’ll should listen to his stuff, its awesome. ask me for the demo and I’ll burn or send it to you). Well he wanted people to be his “street team”. And since I already knew I was coming up here to see the concert and matt and I didn’t have anything concrete to do we were like “sure, we’ll do it,” figuring others would be willing to also. So Joe gets back to us and was all “yeah! street team = party!” so we thought cool.
Then Friday night rolls around. I came up to new york and met up with matt. We played at th eapartment for a second and then went to Joe’s since that’s what we were told to do via email. We get there and before we go in we get uber petrified that this is going to be so insanely awkward. I mean we were going into what was practically a complete strangers apartment to do God-knows-what. But we go up and in and there we were. It ended up being us and the cast of the show. There was no further street team. Awkward much? But after a few minutes it subsided mostly (atleast I thought so). When we walked in Joe said that I looked familiar. He knew me from youtube as one of the “blue hair” girls. I wanted to die from that alone but we went in, he gave me a beer (yay) and then it was to work that we went. It was mostly cutting things like flyers and CD inserts. But still it was okay.
So we’re sitting doing this, trying to make awkward conversation. And then after about an hour and a half I just hear a voice coming from Joe’s computer “I’m bored. I’m awesome. It’s almost one…” And that’s when I wanted to die. First I screamed “Fuck no! Turn that shit off right now.” Like across the room. Yes, I screamed fuck and shit across the room. And then i got insanely embarassed because i screamed that in reaction to a video of myself. But then I kind of dealt with it. I curled into a ball for a few seconds but then I got over it. Mostly. And there it was. They told me I was better than some girl who sang it this summer at some show. I dunno. Thanks i guess? I didn’t really know what to do with that but I just tried to not make a big deal out of it while inside my head I was screaming “Holy Shit, why do you hate me God!?” But it was okay- mostly. I ended up getting over it. For the most part. I tried to not dwell. But that’s a challenge because I am such a dweller. I obsess over small details and minute things that do not make a difference, such as watching a video of myself singing a song while the writer of said song chills there and i yell for him to “Fuck no! turn that shit off”. Or something like that.
But we went and did all that work and got all the CD’s ready and the little flyers to hand out to people. Than we were given signs (like actual signs to hang up at places like diners and on random street corners and stores, etc.) And off we went back to Matt’s apartment. Trying to figure out what we were doing the next day. So we did and it was actually the two of us just messing around making movies that will never be seen by anyone with the exception of Nicole.
So yeah. Today we went out at about 8:45 or 9 and walked the streets of Manhattan, mostly attacking people in the theatre district trying to get them to go to the show. We gave out nearly 60 CDs (all that we had) and a bunch of flyers plus posters at diners and such. But it was fun in its own way. And than we took a break and updated people who needed to know how and what we were doing. And then back to Spring Awakening and Rent we went to give the few CD’s we had left plus a bunch of the mini-flyer deals out to people who it seems would like the kind of music that would be in the show. And then Matt went to Legally Blonde with his aunt or something. And I went off in search of Nicole! Miss Nicole whom I have not seen since May. Finally, reunited and it feels so good. Or something like that… But the two of us went shopping all over th place like Manhattan Mall and Forever 21 and then in search of a Dunkin Donuts so I could get myself some regular coffee that didn’t suck or taste burned like Starbucks. And so I bought new shirt at Forever 21 and eventually after wandering for quite some time we found a Dunkin Donuts and I got my coffee and it was my happiness since all I’d had over the course of the day was half a bagle and a glass of water. But we went back to Matt’s and all played and got to know each other and than off to the Rock and/or Roll show we went.
It was wonderful. We ended up sitting with Joe’s parents and one of his grandmothers which was pretty funny (his grandmother was amazing) . And it was just a good time. And Nicole didn’t get carded so we all got to drink. And the show was great. I got a bunch of random videos and pictures. They will eventually be posted… probably. But afterward we were talking and Nicole got her picture with Anthony Rapp like she really wanted and we all talked to him and made it awkward – but an acceptable kind of awkward, at least that’s what I’m telling myself. And then we were just talking to people and making friends and then off to the bar we went and Jason paid for drinks even though I tried to. And it was a party; Dancing, alcohol, really good hot wings. Drunkenness. But in a good way. A better drunk than new years. And it was with some pretty awesome people, even though Matt had to leave to go deal with his cousin me and Nicole stuck around and talked to a bunch of people and took pictures and just had a good time. And really I’m glad I did this. I’m glad that I took my time. Sure , I had some embarassment. And I had to deal attitude from some people on the spring awakening line. And I might have a hang over in the morning. And I might end up regretting this for some reason but it was a good time. I swear. And I’m happy. Maybe this is a good sign of what 2008 will be like.
This was quite the weekend. It was a fun time, really.
So what happened was Joe Iconis (ya’ll should listen to his stuff, its awesome. ask me for the demo and I’ll burn or send it to you). Well he wanted people to be his “street team”. And since I already knew I was coming up here to see the concert and matt and I didn’t have anything concrete to do we were like “sure, we’ll do it,” figuring others would be willing to also. So Joe gets back to us and was all “yeah! street team = party!” so we thought cool.
Then Friday night rolls around. I came up to new york and met up with matt. We played at th eapartment for a second and then went to Joe’s since that’s what we were told to do via email. We get there and before we go in we get uber petrified that this is going to be so insanely awkward. I mean we were going into what was practically a complete strangers apartment to do God-knows-what. But we go up and in and there we were. It ended up being us and the cast of the show. There was no further street team. Awkward much? But after a few minutes it subsided mostly (atleast I thought so). When we walked in Joe said that I looked familiar. He knew me from youtube as one of the “blue hair” girls. I wanted to die from that alone but we went in, he gave me a beer (yay) and then it was to work that we went. It was mostly cutting things like flyers and CD inserts. But still it was okay.
So we’re sitting doing this, trying to make awkward conversation. And then after about an hour and a half I just hear a voice coming from Joe’s computer “I’m bored. I’m awesome. It’s almost one…” And that’s when I wanted to die. First I screamed “Fuck no! Turn that shit off right now.” Like across the room. Yes, I screamed fuck and shit across the room. And then i got insanely embarassed because i screamed that in reaction to a video of myself. But then I kind of dealt with it. I curled into a ball for a few seconds but then I got over it. Mostly. And there it was. They told me I was better than some girl who sang it this summer at some show. I dunno. Thanks i guess? I didn’t really know what to do with that but I just tried to not make a big deal out of it while inside my head I was screaming “Holy Shit, why do you hate me God!?” But it was okay- mostly. I ended up getting over it. For the most part. I tried to not dwell. But that’s a challenge because I am such a dweller. I obsess over small details and minute things that do not make a difference, such as watching a video of myself singing a song while the writer of said song chills there and i yell for him to “Fuck no! turn that shit off”. Or something like that.
But we went and did all that work and got all the CD’s ready and the little flyers to hand out to people. Than we were given signs (like actual signs to hang up at places like diners and on random street corners and stores, etc.) And off we went back to Matt’s apartment. Trying to figure out what we were doing the next day. So we did and it was actually the two of us just messing around making movies that will never be seen by anyone with the exception of Nicole.
So yeah. Today we went out at about 8:45 or 9 and walked the streets of Manhattan, mostly attacking people in the theatre district trying to get them to go to the show. We gave out nearly 60 CDs (all that we had) and a bunch of flyers plus posters at diners and such. But it was fun in its own way. And than we took a break and updated people who needed to know how and what we were doing. And then back to Spring Awakening and Rent we went to give the few CD’s we had left plus a bunch of the mini-flyer deals out to people who it seems would like the kind of music that would be in the show. And then Matt went to Legally Blonde with his aunt or something. And I went off in search of Nicole! Miss Nicole whom I have not seen since May. Finally, reunited and it feels so good. Or something like that… But the two of us went shopping all over th place like Manhattan Mall and Forever 21 and then in search of a Dunkin Donuts so I could get myself some regular coffee that didn’t suck or taste burned like Starbucks. And so I bought new shirt at Forever 21 and eventually after wandering for quite some time we found a Dunkin Donuts and I got my coffee and it was my happiness since all I’d had over the course of the day was half a bagle and a glass of water. But we went back to Matt’s and all played and got to know each other and than off to the Rock and/or Roll show we went.
It was wonderful. We ended up sitting with Joe’s parents and one of his grandmothers which was pretty funny (his grandmother was amazing) . And it was just a good time. And Nicole didn’t get carded so we all got to drink. And the show was great. I got a bunch of random videos and pictures. They will eventually be posted… probably. But afterward we were talking and Nicole got her picture with Anthony Rapp like she really wanted and we all talked to him and made it awkward – but an acceptable kind of awkward, at least that’s what I’m telling myself. And then we were just talking to people and making friends and then off to the bar we went and Jason paid for drinks even though I tried to. And it was a party; Dancing, alcohol, really good hot wings. Drunkenness. But in a good way. A better drunk than new years. And it was with some pretty awesome people, even though Matt had to leave to go deal with his cousin me and Nicole stuck around and talked to a bunch of people and took pictures and just had a good time. And really I’m glad I did this. I’m glad that I took my time. Sure , I had some embarassment. And I had to deal attitude from some people on the spring awakening line. And I might have a hang over in the morning. And I might end up regretting this for some reason but it was a good time. I swear. And I’m happy. Maybe this is a good sign of what 2008 will be like.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
shit man...
its 2008.
when the fuck did that happen?
seriously.
time flies and i dont even notice it going until its so far past i'm thinkin its 4 weeks ago or something. i realize how little sense that makes but fuckit, i dont care. its 4:10 in the morning and therefore good enough for me and you.
so break just keeps moving right along.
and so do the good times with my friends.
we've drank and talked and driven (or ridden) and dinered and everything with more to come. i know its cliche but my friends from high school might be the best i'll ever have. we didn't have the times of our lives in h.s. and those were not the best days of our lives but we're still together and with each other now and times are getting better as we are getting older.
new years was calm, mostly uneventful but very drunk.
it was just amy, erin and i.
the three of us at my apartment drinking. than walking to the river for the fireworks and walking back to my apartment for more drinking and making friends with people who walked past my front steps as we smoked like the rebels we are. i drank much more than i should have.
tuesday i was so sick. i couldn't drink water for fear of throwing up= always a fun thing. thats what i get for excessive amounts of champagne and wine. and i mean excessive. but it was still fun and i survived. and tonight amy and i went back to philly and saw the screwtape letters, a production at the lantern theater company for which jessica was the costume designer - her first professional outing! i'm so proud of her- for reals.
this weekend ought to be interesting.
once i have a clue whats going on i might write, but i may just wait til whatever happens does so. that way... yeah
anyways.
i've been thinking about the future.
i know people are consistently doing that but i've been thinking in terms of career and what i really want to be and to do and how i can establish myself.
i want to be a writer. not of the crap thats on here but of theater. i love characters and theater and playwriting and everything. it what i'm really in school for right now. its the reason i got into uarts i think- because i definitely did not get in on my technical theater prowess or my knowledge of stage management practices. because i have no experience in either of those fields. and the only thing i presented at my interview with amy were scripts. one finished one act play, 3 scenes of an unfinished crappy jukebox musical of sort(but not really), 5 scenes of an unfinished play from class, and 4 monologues from a newer idea i had been working on at the time based on the post secret art project. but i've been thinking. if this is really what i want to do i need to apply myself. i really need to get some follow through with my writing. i need to work my ass off and try to finish what i start instead of beginning a bunch of pieces and never finishing them. and i need to think in terms of my education.
once i'm finished at uarts in my shorter amount of time (since thats what i'm working towards) i think i want to go to tisch. yes, its expensive. yes, its hard to get into. and yes, i have no idea if thats even going to be what i want in a few years. but at the moment i do want to write theater. i want to work in that field and i want to go to one of the best places to study it, in one of the most incredible cities in the world.
NYU/TISCH Musical theater writing program.
thats it. i want to go for book writing. maybe lyric writing depending on where i can get with that and how much i can grow in the next year or so. but thats it.
i don't make new years resolutions. people never keep them and things change as time goes on making a resolution made in january not pertinent by the time march rolls around. but i think i want to develop my writing. i want to work, privately on my writing and i want to grow with it. i want to be better than i have been. i want to be good. and i want to finish something and truly be proud of my work, not read it once its done and think "what kind of crap am i churning out?" like i usually think.
thats all.
i got a bit ranty but i think thats really going to be my goal over the year, in addition to keeping my grades where they are (gpa was 3.82 this semester, thank you very much)
when the fuck did that happen?
seriously.
time flies and i dont even notice it going until its so far past i'm thinkin its 4 weeks ago or something. i realize how little sense that makes but fuckit, i dont care. its 4:10 in the morning and therefore good enough for me and you.
so break just keeps moving right along.
and so do the good times with my friends.
we've drank and talked and driven (or ridden) and dinered and everything with more to come. i know its cliche but my friends from high school might be the best i'll ever have. we didn't have the times of our lives in h.s. and those were not the best days of our lives but we're still together and with each other now and times are getting better as we are getting older.
new years was calm, mostly uneventful but very drunk.
it was just amy, erin and i.
the three of us at my apartment drinking. than walking to the river for the fireworks and walking back to my apartment for more drinking and making friends with people who walked past my front steps as we smoked like the rebels we are. i drank much more than i should have.
tuesday i was so sick. i couldn't drink water for fear of throwing up= always a fun thing. thats what i get for excessive amounts of champagne and wine. and i mean excessive. but it was still fun and i survived. and tonight amy and i went back to philly and saw the screwtape letters, a production at the lantern theater company for which jessica was the costume designer - her first professional outing! i'm so proud of her- for reals.
this weekend ought to be interesting.
once i have a clue whats going on i might write, but i may just wait til whatever happens does so. that way... yeah
anyways.
i've been thinking about the future.
i know people are consistently doing that but i've been thinking in terms of career and what i really want to be and to do and how i can establish myself.
i want to be a writer. not of the crap thats on here but of theater. i love characters and theater and playwriting and everything. it what i'm really in school for right now. its the reason i got into uarts i think- because i definitely did not get in on my technical theater prowess or my knowledge of stage management practices. because i have no experience in either of those fields. and the only thing i presented at my interview with amy were scripts. one finished one act play, 3 scenes of an unfinished crappy jukebox musical of sort(but not really), 5 scenes of an unfinished play from class, and 4 monologues from a newer idea i had been working on at the time based on the post secret art project. but i've been thinking. if this is really what i want to do i need to apply myself. i really need to get some follow through with my writing. i need to work my ass off and try to finish what i start instead of beginning a bunch of pieces and never finishing them. and i need to think in terms of my education.
once i'm finished at uarts in my shorter amount of time (since thats what i'm working towards) i think i want to go to tisch. yes, its expensive. yes, its hard to get into. and yes, i have no idea if thats even going to be what i want in a few years. but at the moment i do want to write theater. i want to work in that field and i want to go to one of the best places to study it, in one of the most incredible cities in the world.
NYU/TISCH Musical theater writing program.
thats it. i want to go for book writing. maybe lyric writing depending on where i can get with that and how much i can grow in the next year or so. but thats it.
i don't make new years resolutions. people never keep them and things change as time goes on making a resolution made in january not pertinent by the time march rolls around. but i think i want to develop my writing. i want to work, privately on my writing and i want to grow with it. i want to be better than i have been. i want to be good. and i want to finish something and truly be proud of my work, not read it once its done and think "what kind of crap am i churning out?" like i usually think.
thats all.
i got a bit ranty but i think thats really going to be my goal over the year, in addition to keeping my grades where they are (gpa was 3.82 this semester, thank you very much)
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