Who are you? Who, who, who, who.

Its funny to see how different people perceive you.
The way I see myself and the way others do is completely different.
I know this is kind of dumb but I was honestly on face book.
There is an application called "Compare People" where literally that is all you do.
There are things like who smells better, who would you rather be trapped on a desert island with, who would you rather kiss, who is smarter, etc.
The topics cover a fairly wide range.
But I was just looking at the different ways I have been voted.
People think of me as the smart girl. Some have voted me smartest. What?
Honestly?
I have never felt like the smart girl.
I know I'm intelligent and I know a lot of random facts and can quote them back to people but thats not 'smarts', thats being a parrot. And I'm a good little parrot.
But people have voted me as better at science.
Mind you, I don't know who they were voting between, maybe I am better at science that someone else. But I doubt it. I am the girl who struggled through Chemistry of Food a little over a year ago. Only a matter of two semesters ago was I attempting to soldier my way through Weather and Climate. And don't even get me started on high school science, me and them never got along very well.

I guess I just see myself as average. I know some things. I don't know others.
I don't think I'm extraordinary. I don't think i suck at life though.
I'm just me. Just a regular girl. Nothing special.

I just feel like if people see me one way, but I see myself another- which one is the truth?
Am I who they believe me to be, or who I feel I am as an individual?
Do they decide for me or do I finally step up to the plate and decide for myself?
Maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. I just have this tendency of over-thinking, which if you know me at all you will be very familiar with. And maybe thats all that I am doing right now. But... I just don't know. I feel like a big part of who I am is based on how others feel towards me. Their reactions to me shape my further actions. If they're negative I close off, positive and I open up.
It's all so... Just so. I'm not sure where I was originally intending to go with this but I think I'm a little satisfied with where it ended up.
And so I leave you with a question:
Are we who we decide to be, or who others make us out to be?



Additionally, I'd just like to put it out there that I semi-conquered a fear today. I stood at the top of a straight extension ladder in the Arts Bank and managed to hang two 2ks, which are insanely heavy lights. I did not break anything or anyone and I didn't cry. I might have come close when my phone started to go off while I was crazy high up in the air, but I held back. And I made it through. And I'm a little bit proud of myself.
Go me.