I want this:

"I’m finally letting myself live on the edge of my skin where I only do something because it feels good. There was no work being done this weekend. I let my eyes rest instead of keeping them open for hours and hours under the dim light of my desk lamp. I danced with someone who thinks I’m amazing and while I assure him that I’m just a girl he stares at me as if I’m much more than that."


I'm jealous of someone I don't even know for being able to write that.
I can't.
And because I can't let go of my work and let go of my responsibilities and get myself away from my laptop and writing and reading long enough I might have ruined something...
but then again, maybe he should understand that this, school and everything, is really important to me.
i need to do well. i need to succeed.
...if he doesn't get that, if all he can think about is how I'm always busy with my work than maybe he's not worth it. Because when i was free, when he knew I'd be free, he never was.
So screw that.

Plus someone else has been making me smile lately...