Better in 2008?

Well, here I am. Currently while i write this it is 1:48 am, Sunday morning. Not too long ago I got back from the bar. Or actually from leaving Nicole on the corner of 42nd (or was it 43rd?) and 8th so she could go on her merry way to MSG and Penn Station and I could make my way back to matt’s.
This was quite the weekend. It was a fun time, really.
So what happened was Joe Iconis (ya’ll should listen to his stuff, its awesome. ask me for the demo and I’ll burn or send it to you). Well he wanted people to be his “street team”. And since I already knew I was coming up here to see the concert and matt and I didn’t have anything concrete to do we were like “sure, we’ll do it,” figuring others would be willing to also. So Joe gets back to us and was all “yeah! street team = party!” so we thought cool.
Then Friday night rolls around. I came up to new york and met up with matt. We played at th eapartment for a second and then went to Joe’s since that’s what we were told to do via email. We get there and before we go in we get uber petrified that this is going to be so insanely awkward. I mean we were going into what was practically a complete strangers apartment to do God-knows-what. But we go up and in and there we were. It ended up being us and the cast of the show. There was no further street team. Awkward much? But after a few minutes it subsided mostly (atleast I thought so). When we walked in Joe said that I looked familiar. He knew me from youtube as one of the “blue hair” girls. I wanted to die from that alone but we went in, he gave me a beer (yay) and then it was to work that we went. It was mostly cutting things like flyers and CD inserts. But still it was okay.
So we’re sitting doing this, trying to make awkward conversation. And then after about an hour and a half I just hear a voice coming from Joe’s computer “I’m bored. I’m awesome. It’s almost one…” And that’s when I wanted to die. First I screamed “Fuck no! Turn that shit off right now.” Like across the room. Yes, I screamed fuck and shit across the room. And then i got insanely embarassed because i screamed that in reaction to a video of myself. But then I kind of dealt with it. I curled into a ball for a few seconds but then I got over it. Mostly. And there it was. They told me I was better than some girl who sang it this summer at some show. I dunno. Thanks i guess? I didn’t really know what to do with that but I just tried to not make a big deal out of it while inside my head I was screaming “Holy Shit, why do you hate me God!?” But it was okay- mostly. I ended up getting over it. For the most part. I tried to not dwell. But that’s a challenge because I am such a dweller. I obsess over small details and minute things that do not make a difference, such as watching a video of myself singing a song while the writer of said song chills there and i yell for him to “Fuck no! turn that shit off”. Or something like that.
But we went and did all that work and got all the CD’s ready and the little flyers to hand out to people. Than we were given signs (like actual signs to hang up at places like diners and on random street corners and stores, etc.) And off we went back to Matt’s apartment. Trying to figure out what we were doing the next day. So we did and it was actually the two of us just messing around making movies that will never be seen by anyone with the exception of Nicole.
So yeah. Today we went out at about 8:45 or 9 and walked the streets of Manhattan, mostly attacking people in the theatre district trying to get them to go to the show. We gave out nearly 60 CDs (all that we had) and a bunch of flyers plus posters at diners and such. But it was fun in its own way. And than we took a break and updated people who needed to know how and what we were doing. And then back to Spring Awakening and Rent we went to give the few CD’s we had left plus a bunch of the mini-flyer deals out to people who it seems would like the kind of music that would be in the show. And then Matt went to Legally Blonde with his aunt or something. And I went off in search of Nicole! Miss Nicole whom I have not seen since May. Finally, reunited and it feels so good. Or something like that… But the two of us went shopping all over th place like Manhattan Mall and Forever 21 and then in search of a Dunkin Donuts so I could get myself some regular coffee that didn’t suck or taste burned like Starbucks. And so I bought new shirt at Forever 21 and eventually after wandering for quite some time we found a Dunkin Donuts and I got my coffee and it was my happiness since all I’d had over the course of the day was half a bagle and a glass of water. But we went back to Matt’s and all played and got to know each other and than off to the Rock and/or Roll show we went.
It was wonderful. We ended up sitting with Joe’s parents and one of his grandmothers which was pretty funny (his grandmother was amazing) . And it was just a good time. And Nicole didn’t get carded so we all got to drink. And the show was great. I got a bunch of random videos and pictures. They will eventually be posted… probably. But afterward we were talking and Nicole got her picture with Anthony Rapp like she really wanted and we all talked to him and made it awkward – but an acceptable kind of awkward, at least that’s what I’m telling myself. And then we were just talking to people and making friends and then off to the bar we went and Jason paid for drinks even though I tried to. And it was a party; Dancing, alcohol, really good hot wings. Drunkenness. But in a good way. A better drunk than new years. And it was with some pretty awesome people, even though Matt had to leave to go deal with his cousin me and Nicole stuck around and talked to a bunch of people and took pictures and just had a good time. And really I’m glad I did this. I’m glad that I took my time. Sure , I had some embarassment. And I had to deal attitude from some people on the spring awakening line. And I might have a hang over in the morning. And I might end up regretting this for some reason but it was a good time. I swear. And I’m happy. Maybe this is a good sign of what 2008 will be like.

shit man...

its 2008.
when the fuck did that happen?

seriously.
time flies and i dont even notice it going until its so far past i'm thinkin its 4 weeks ago or something. i realize how little sense that makes but fuckit, i dont care. its 4:10 in the morning and therefore good enough for me and you.

so break just keeps moving right along.
and so do the good times with my friends.
we've drank and talked and driven (or ridden) and dinered and everything with more to come. i know its cliche but my friends from high school might be the best i'll ever have. we didn't have the times of our lives in h.s. and those were not the best days of our lives but we're still together and with each other now and times are getting better as we are getting older.

new years was calm, mostly uneventful but very drunk.
it was just amy, erin and i.
the three of us at my apartment drinking. than walking to the river for the fireworks and walking back to my apartment for more drinking and making friends with people who walked past my front steps as we smoked like the rebels we are. i drank much more than i should have.
tuesday i was so sick. i couldn't drink water for fear of throwing up= always a fun thing. thats what i get for excessive amounts of champagne and wine. and i mean excessive. but it was still fun and i survived. and tonight amy and i went back to philly and saw the screwtape letters, a production at the lantern theater company for which jessica was the costume designer - her first professional outing! i'm so proud of her- for reals.

this weekend ought to be interesting.
once i have a clue whats going on i might write, but i may just wait til whatever happens does so. that way... yeah
anyways.
i've been thinking about the future.
i know people are consistently doing that but i've been thinking in terms of career and what i really want to be and to do and how i can establish myself.
i want to be a writer. not of the crap thats on here but of theater. i love characters and theater and playwriting and everything. it what i'm really in school for right now. its the reason i got into uarts i think- because i definitely did not get in on my technical theater prowess or my knowledge of stage management practices. because i have no experience in either of those fields. and the only thing i presented at my interview with amy were scripts. one finished one act play, 3 scenes of an unfinished crappy jukebox musical of sort(but not really), 5 scenes of an unfinished play from class, and 4 monologues from a newer idea i had been working on at the time based on the post secret art project. but i've been thinking. if this is really what i want to do i need to apply myself. i really need to get some follow through with my writing. i need to work my ass off and try to finish what i start instead of beginning a bunch of pieces and never finishing them. and i need to think in terms of my education.

once i'm finished at uarts in my shorter amount of time (since thats what i'm working towards) i think i want to go to tisch. yes, its expensive. yes, its hard to get into. and yes, i have no idea if thats even going to be what i want in a few years. but at the moment i do want to write theater. i want to work in that field and i want to go to one of the best places to study it, in one of the most incredible cities in the world.

NYU/TISCH Musical theater writing program.

thats it. i want to go for book writing. maybe lyric writing depending on where i can get with that and how much i can grow in the next year or so. but thats it.

i don't make new years resolutions. people never keep them and things change as time goes on making a resolution made in january not pertinent by the time march rolls around. but i think i want to develop my writing. i want to work, privately on my writing and i want to grow with it. i want to be better than i have been. i want to be good. and i want to finish something and truly be proud of my work, not read it once its done and think "what kind of crap am i churning out?" like i usually think.

thats all.
i got a bit ranty but i think thats really going to be my goal over the year, in addition to keeping my grades where they are (gpa was 3.82 this semester, thank you very much)