oops.

I have been so busy and caught up with everything that I forget to update this.
My bad.

What to say?

Hot L Baltimore went very well. All in all it was a good experience.

The day after Hot L closed I took a one day trip to North Jersey that took more travel time than visit time to see Pride and Prejudice. I was very proud of Nicole and Bethy-poo and Ross. They all were wonderful.

Since then I have just been trying to stay afloat. Getting my work done, going to classes, keeping myself together. This semester is beating me down particularly hard. I may have taken on more than I can handle. Not really, but at some moments it feels that way. I just have a lot of work and the pressure is getting to me a little bit. But its not horrible. Not really. I'm just...

I'm feeling stuck. Every day it seems like I am being put into situations where I am forced into a comparison with my sister. I hate being compared to her. Jessica is good at everything. I am not. It really makes living up to her difficult. Plus there's the fact that I'm just crazy.... that doesn't help much.
Whatever.

By the way, the Phillies won the World Series. I went to the parade, I rioted on Broad Street. It was a great time.

I feel... numb. It's weird.
Last weekend I was told by someone who had met me earlier that night "You are so closed off". And he's right. I am. And I don't know how to change that. Or how to fix that. It's just something that is. That has always been. I close off and shut down to protect myself because I've been hurt too much and too many times. And..

I don't know. I'm weird.

"Cut me deeper cause if I see that I'm bleeding then I'll know that I'm alive."