I love you, but...

Right now I have that same feeling to where I am. I love you but...

I love this school and this education and this environment but...
I miss my friends. I miss my teachers. I just miss things.

And although you might not know it I am an incredibly shy person. I do not do well when thrust into social situations where everyone knows each other already and I'm the odd one out. Not to say that everyone already knows each other here, but I feel like since they live in the dorms together and did all those dumb bonding things at the night activities during orientation everyone really does know each other. And I'm just standing there awkwardly shadowing my sister cause its the easiest thing for me to do.

I panic when I don't know anyone. I get awkward and just odd. I can't deal with it. So instead I leave. Right now I could be at the "Welcome Back/Kickoff" party for all theater majors. Instead I'm in the apartment. I was there for 10 minutes-ish and then I left because I just couldn't do it. I can't meet people in situations like that, especially when they're all familiar already. It's just too hard for me. I'm shy. People don't realize that, but I truly am a very shy person. I end up curling into myself and avoiding everyone, new and old.

I wish I knew how to move on, or that I could make new friends quicker and easier but I can't. I need someone else's help to introduce me, or to spark a conversation or just something. How am I supposed to be a adult and have an issue like that? How am I supposed to make friends? Expand my horizons? Find someone to connect with? I won't. So I really do need to get over that... But it's just so hard.