Also, come see

Realm of the Unreal: The Vivian Requiem

Tomorrow thru Sunday.
8pm performances.
2pm matinées on Saturday and Sunday.

Caplan Studio Theater
Terra Building
Broad and Walnut
Philadelphia PA

I've spent the past six weeks of my life working on this.
Please come see it.
<33

Forget it.

I just give up.

Intrigued. Very.


Let's see where this can go.

1973.

"They don't even know what it is to be a fan. Y'know? To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts."

I really do wish I was growing up in 1973. It could be a forced nostalgia for something I barely know due to extensive viewings of Almost Famous (which Alison and I are watching right now) or it could be real longing for something simpler. Not simple. But more simple than things are now I believe. And the amazing music.

Because the music is pretty damn incredible.

I'm jealous of the people who came of age in that time period. The music was so strong and had such staying power. People still listen to it today. Its become classic in its way. What music from my time is going to be listened to in 35 years? Whats going to have staying power? The Jonas Brothers? Britney Spears? Fall Out Boy? I hope not. Because if when i have children and they think of that kind of music being the music of my generation I will... I don't even know what I'll do. The thought just scares me so much. Its horrible.

Thats when I will play custom mixes in the car ranging in bands from the mountain goats to james taylor to neutral milk hotel to bob dylan to rilo kiley to led zeppelin to the decemberists to joni mitchell or simon & garfunkle or the who.

they will be well educated. but only in things that don't suck...


i don't even know what i'm talking about.


But this is totally my favorite movie.

"You're too sweet for rock and roll."

I got my internship in lbi with SUrflight.
I don't have to stay in Philly for the summer!
And I get paid for working at the beach in a town I know insanely well.
My favorite beach town too.

Fantastic.


Nearly seven weeks left until school is done and I move to beach haven.
I can't wait.

i just think that we might get on.

Check Lists.

perfectly true.

Rainforests.

"I've fallen for you like an amazonian tree.
which is to say:
hard, fast, and although unnoticed by most
of the world's population,
not without great consequence."


http://www.kellerskards.com/images/spoonfed-large/tractor.jpg

Rilke.

You see, I want a lot.
Perhaps I want everything:
the darkness that comes from every infinite fall
and the shivering blaze of every step up.
So many live on and want nothing ...
You have not grown old, and it is not too late
to dive into your increasing depths

yes, lets.

lets just stop playing games and make out already.

To someone:

All I know is that you're so nice
You're the nicest thing I've seen
I wish that we could give it a go
See if we could be something

I wish I was your favorite girl
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world
I wish my smile was your favorite kind of smile
I wish the way that I dressed was your favorite kind of style

I wish you couldn't figure me out
But you always wanna know what I was about
I wish you'd hold my hand
When I was upset
I wish you'd never forget
The look on my face when we first met

I wish you had a favorite beauty spot
That you loved secretly
'Cause it was on a hidden bit
That nobody else could see
Basically, I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars,
Actually I meant three

I wish that without me your heart would break
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn't eat
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

Look, all I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen
And I wish that we could see if we could be something
Yeah I wish that we could see if we could be something

we cannot sleep. we'll just hold our breath tonight.

"and then it’s over. just another mistake done over. there’s no evidence here, no mark or picture frame just a name in a cell phone, stuck in my head, smelling boy in my empty twin bed or maybe i’m just conjuring some romance i read."


if only i'd had these lyrics as a reference point a few months ago.

Say Hi

Let's talk about spaceships or anything except you and me, okay?



catchy and fantastic and addicting.
love it already.
and i love my house and the people who live in it.
and other people too, <3.

Just like you said it should be we'll both forget the breeze

I have not written recently but...

Just so you know.
I could fall in love with you.
I'm not. But if I really let myself...
Who knows where I could be. What we could be.

I know this isn't expected. You have no idea.
But its true. And I don't expect anything in return.
I'm not even giving you anything more than a possibility.
But still... That's it.

I could, if I wasn't so scared.
And you weren't so clueless.
And things weren't in the way.
And life wasn't as hard as it is.
And I wasn't so afraid to be real...

Who knows what could happen.

I am looking for a dare to be great situation.

It is currently 2009.
Crazy.
Time really does fly. And quickly.

It just keeps going on and on. Moving forward with barely a moment to spare and to really think and understand what is going on.
I'm 22 years old and my life is passing by at an insane rate.
It's scary.

But so it goes.



Its a new dawn. Its a new day.
Its a new life for me.

And I'm feeling good.



But really.
I am.
And hopeful.
Who knows how this could turn out.
Perhaps go beyond stupid crush for once.

As Kate and I have agreed. It's 2009, a year to look back, maybe even revisit the past. Or change it with your future.
It might not make much sense but we understand it.

2010

It has been officially decided (by me) that in the year 2010 I am traveling to Europe.
I am saving my money starting now and I intend on backpacking.
I might not actually backpack, I'm thinking about going through EF College Break.(It seems to be a cheaper, more dependable way to go).

But either way, I am going.


Planning so far in advance is not like me, but I have to do this, or else I'll never have the money for it and I will never go.
This is one of those things thats on my list of things I need to do in my life.

So, I'm going to do it.

And now I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of Late Summer/ Early Fall 2010.
(Oh and Fall 2009 when I graduate college. By the way, I ended up getting a 3.7 this semester. Pretty awesome considering how rough a time I had)

I am writing a book.
I know I've said that before but this time I mean it.
This is a different situation than before. I figured out what I want to write and how I want to write it. Today during Talk Radio it came to me. And I like it. It's really something that's been in the making for years. It's me and its truth and I hope it works out. And if no body ever reads it, so be it. But I already like what I have done.



And I never like what I write.





Also writing my final paper for Chartres Cathedral.
I cannot wait to be finished soon!

This is my life...

Sometimes you make a choice to take a leap.
You dive. You run and jump in.
Sometimes its the right thing, sometimes its not.

I'm still not sure what this was.
But it was fun all the same.
And I think it was right.

I don't know...



"Aren't you funny, pathetically naive and desperate to believe
you could always find some good. well, you misunderstood or you've been dreaming."



"Isn't it funny how he convinced me I could be pretty... funny."


oh pasek and paul.

Joyeux anniversaire à moi!

So I am 22 now. Olddddd.

Thanksgiving was lovely and peaceful.
Which was all I asked for.

So it's my birthday and the astorlogy.com thingie sent me a free tarot reading.
It is fascinating. Apparently I am...

*You're even tempered, moderate, and able to see both sides of a situation. You recognize when there is nothing more to be done and have learned that haste makes waste, for everything unfolds in its own time. You may be the peacemaker in the group, or go with the flow, as you have mastered the art of compromise and keeping your temper. You tend to avoid extremes and don't over-react or get emotional when others try to get a rise out of you, and your patience, creativity, tolerance, and understanding is an inspiration to others. Difficulties with any of the above can be overcome or managed with therapy, medication, or support.

*This year could be a good one for you, for you could become confident in your ability to make a difference. You may become more comfortable with yourself, accept that it takes all kinds, or be a natural leader who can see the big picture, or the challenges of a global economy. You could have the opportunity to travel, and might prove to be an open-minded concerned citizen of the Earth, its environment, and resources, but may have a tendency to think that the world revolves around you. You are responsible for your actions or choices, and over the course of the year, you might make it your business to know what's going on in this ever-shrinking planet. Having "been there, done that," you can be optimistic for the future, or will find your place. The world is your oyster, and you are hungry for the pearl. You'll have no regrets this year; you will have done all you can, and can be ready to move onto the next level.



Lets hope.

remember when we made a habit of reenacting carmen in your musty basement...

i can't sleep. which is a shame.
thanksgiving is tomorrow. and i am excited.
for family.
and for leftovers after the fact.
but friday, my 22nd birthday, is thte first day of tech for talkradio.
not so exciting. more scary, actually.
but hey, thats the way the cookie crumbles
or something like that.
i'm not too sure why i'm writing on here other than hoping that it will bore me enough to tire me out so i'll pass out. because i am wide awake at 7:15 with only about 20 minutes of sleep under my belt. something is wrong with this picture.

something is very, very, very wrong.

oh random william finn references thaat no one in the world will understand...